final decision, last chance (Thursday, February 8, 2007 / 1:37 AM)
i finally decided what i want after a break-out tt night. saw some things that i shouldn't have seen. but what to do? when i see the first msg i always choose to continue. blame myself. wadeva~~
tt night went to talk with steph. felt damn sad de. cried all i could and said all i should. then as my best friend, she gave me her best advice. i was told to decide on somethingand go for it. ALL THE WAY!! and not to give up in the middle. then i thought for a night. i know i couldn't let go now. i know i still love him. i dun wanna bluff myself anymore. i noe i want him. tt's all i noe. and i noe i shouldn't let go over and over agn.
[dedicated to oN0~] i have to sae im sorry to have hurt u so much by letting go easily whenever a problem arise. i noe i shouldn't but i juz can't control. things juz comes out of my mouth and never back again. i noe i yearn for u to be perfect when u can't. all this small little things, quarrels, saddness, have made me realise tt i have taken u for granted. and noe tt u wouldn't leave me whenever we break up. i hate myself for taking u for granted. i noe it's not fair, not right for me to do this to u. sorry.
and now... this is the last and fnal decision i have made. i wan things back to normal. i want to give this r/s, myself and you another chance. i hope to make this r/s as happy as before. i wanna make things right again. i noe we can.
lots of love.